HATI (part I)
4/14/2008 07:26:00 AM | Author: eVy-D-YaNa
Assalamualaikum...

Untuk post kali ni agak berat sikit...

Dua tiga minggu sebelum ni, aku selalu rasa pelik-pelik. Rasa tak tenang. Jantung aku selalu berdegup kencang. Rasa tak selesa. Cara aku respon kat persekitaran aku pun dah lain. Kawan baik aku cakap, aku dah tak seceria dulu. Tak pernah aku macam ni. Arghh..aku benci dengar semua ni. Aku tak suka orang tengok aku tak hepy. Aku tak suka orang risau tentang aku. Tak nak sikit pun. Mungkin betol la tu yang aku ni bukan seorang pelakon yang hebat. Sekejap ja orang dah boleh teka aku tak macam selalu. Aku sendiri pun tak tau kenapa aku selalu dapat gerak hati. Tapi aku tau gerak hati tu tentang apa. Banyak kali aku selalu ingat benda ni main2...tapi sebab dah banyak kali sangat jadi, aku pun xtau sama ada aku bole percaya atau tak dengan gerak hati tu. Mesti ramai yang tak faham dan mungkin tak kan faham. Tak yah faham pun tak pa kot sebab benda ni rumit. Kisah ni dah nak masuk 3 tahun. =)

Secara ringkasnya, disebabkan hati aku selalu rasa pelik-pelik, aku sekadar ekspresikan apa yang aku rasa kat status gtalk. Tapi, suatu pagi tu (13/4/08), ada seorang hamba Allah yang juga rakan sekelas, Abg Shafiq, cuba untuk jawab soalan-soalan aku.


Ni status gtalk aku satu malam sebelum aku dapat jawapan persoalan aku :

~~PoOH & TigGeR~~ proses pemulihan : aku pulang cari Tuhan yang satu. [kenapa hati berdetak kencang ni? Petunjuk apa pulak kali ni?][Aku dah dapat jawapan untuk satu soalan tapi kenapa soalan ni belom ek? pening2 : Kenapa hati tak pernah menipu? Dan kenapa aku bukan seorang pelakon yang hebat juga?]

Pagi tu aku dapat satu mesej thru gtalk. Mesej yang buat aku menangis teresak-esak. Tangisan yang dah lama aku pendam sampai aku dapat jawapan ni.


Abg Shafiq :

Hidup bukannya untuk dilakoni, sahabat. Bahkan hidup itu perjalan sekali jalan. Beringatlah setiap gerak langkah dan cetus rasa memberi tanda dan meninggal jejak yang akan dituntut~Nya akan kebenarannya dan maksudnya kemudian. Sementara hanya hati yang tak pernah menipu itu layak diibaratkan cermin jernih yang memantulkan kebenaran Ilahi.

Abg Shafiq :

-

Tuhanku
sungguh ganjil
bagaimana bisa sekian lama
aku tergiur oleh
yang bukan Engkau.

****


Emha Ainun Nadjib

http://firusfansuri.blogspot.com/search/label/Cinta

Aku : ni nk jwb status diyana ek?

Abg Shafiq : sekadar berkongsi. maaf lah kalau x berkenan. :)

Aku :

jwpn tu mcm btol....

tima kaseh sbb berkongsi..

tu idea abg sndri ek?

Abg Shafiq :

idea?

idea tu sesuatu yang direka-reka.

Aku :

yg ayt2 kt ats tu?

abg pcaya pd grak hati?

Abg Shafiq :

erm, rasanya lebih sesuai disebut suara hati yg terdalam.

gerak hati? ya, tentu.

Aku : gerak hati tu dtg dr Allah?

Abg Shafiq :

duhai, bahkan itulah rahsia Allah yg paling sulit utk kita fahami.

urusan hati ini bukan kerja kita utk difahami semuanya dgn sekelumit ilmu yg kita ada ni.

Aku :

kalo gerak hati tu trlalu brat utk dfikirkan?

Abg Shafiq :

sentiasa bermohon pada~Nya, pinta dimudahkan jalannya dan diterangkan cahaya~Nya.

sedikit demi sedikit, akan tercerahkan lah pandangan itu nanti.

cuma banyakkan bersabar, jangan tergesa-gesa.

dalam al-hikam ada disebut:

'Tertundanya pemberian
setelah engkau mengulang-ulang permintaan,
janganlah membuatmu berpatah harapan.

ALLAH menjamin pengabulan doa sesuai
dengan apa yang Dia pilih buatmu,
bukan menurut apa yang engkau pilih sendiri,

dan pada saat yang Dia kehendaki,
bukan pada waktu yang engkau ingini."

dalam bahasanya yang tersangat mudah, begitulah mendalamnya madah Ibnu 'Athaillah.

kata-kata yang benar lagi indah.

'Hidayah itu ibarat cahaya, ia hanya menyapa kamar yang dibuka jendelanya.'

Aku :

dugaan hati ni mlibatkan prasaan trhdp org...brt sgt utk disimpan sbb dh agk lama...diri bkn jga seorg plakon yg hebat sbb stiap grak perbuatan msti smpaikan mksud trhdp org tu...tp tkot dia myalah tfsir...

Abg Shafiq :

Allah jualah yang lebih tahu dari kita.

Tanggapan kita ada benar salahnya.

Petunjuknya akan datang bila kita sentiasa hampir pada~Nya.

Bersandarlah pada~Nya, sepenuh hatimu.

Aku : mgkin detakan hati yang dtg bertalu-talu ptnda yg diyana perlu pulang cari Tuhan yg satu...

Abg Shafiq :

Jangan sandarkan pada keupayaan diri untuk melakoni setiap perbuatan, semata demi tercapainya hasrat diri.

erm. buleh baca artikel ni, diyana.

http://suluk.blogsome.com/2007/07/08/jatuh-cinta-dan-ad-diin-sebuah-artikel-mengenai-sufisme/

fahami kaitannya antara cinta insani dan cinta Ilahi.

kita takkan bisa mencintai~Nya sebelum kita belajar mencintai makhluknya.

Aku :

abg mcm dpt teka isi hati diyana...

mcm dpt tahu mslah hati ni ttg apa....

Abg Shafiq :

Allah-lah yang Maha Tahu.

diri ini cuma hamba~Nya yang faqir dan tak pernah cukup ilmu.

kerana segala kebaikan itu sandarannya hanya pada~Nya
Aku : abg mgkin org yg dipilih Allh utk jwb pertanyaan diyana...

Abg Shafiq :

Allahu Allah.

diri ini jua pernah menjalani jalan yg perit,

Aku :

abg pn prnh rsa mcm yg diyana rsa?

Abg Shafiq : dari kepahitan itu tersingkap apa yg tak terlihat dalam kesenangan.

mungkin pahitnya itu berbeza, tapi pandangan yg diberi~Nya itu, memahamkan diri dlm byk perkara.

maka, teruskan lah mencari~Nya. mudah-mudahan Dia menunjukkan. Dia tidak jauh darimu, bahkan lebih hampir padamu dari apa pun yang disangka..

permisi utk ansur dulu, ya.

Aku :

tima kaseh sbb dh kongsi byk...

Abg Shafiq : sama2 kasih.

Aku :
nk pegi rehearsal interaksi kn?

Abg Shafiq :

wassalam, jumpa sbntr lg ya.

iya. :)

Aku :

insyaAllah jmpa nnt..


petang tu aku bertanya lagi...

Aku :

nk tnya lg bole?

kenapa perlu ada cinta?

Abg Shafiq :

"Tolong, tolong jangan tafsirkan cinta di sini sesempit yang dipadatkan Barat, terhad pada satu-satu ruang, sehingga cinta yang mulus telah menjadi serong pada waktu tertentu atau cinta itu hanya mengandung makna noda. Mesti berakhir dengan tilam, bantal dan dosa.
‘Bukan begitu sahabat.’ Tutur Nafiz sambil membawa ketawa sopan.
Cinta tak perlu hubungan jasmaniah semata-mata.

Cinta tunjang futuwwah dan ukhuwwah. Cinta adalah bumbu kesatuan akidah, ratna kesepaduan syariah dan manikam akar ihsan.

Kalau tidak kerana cinta Tuhan takkan menghantar kita ke dunia. Kalau tidak kerana cinta Tuhan tak akan menguji menduga manusia hamba-Nya. Kalau tidak kerana cinta Tuhan tidak akan menganugerahkan sawab-Nya.

Cintalah yang membuatkan umat kuat perkasa. Kerana cinta kepada akhlak Rasulullah maka setiap generasi umat Islam kembali melakukan tajdid. Yang dikatakan oleh Allahyarham Dr Martin Ling atau Abu Bakr Siraj-ad Din sebagai tajdid itu satu gerakan untuk mengundur ke belakang (bagi mendapat dan menatap kembali era generasi al-Quran di kala hidupnya Rasulullah) bukan satu gerakan menjauhi cinta yang maju ke hadapan dan meninggalkan segala sunnah dan ajaran baginda.

.

Cerpen Faisal Tehrani,

'Datang Dari Sukma, Masuk Menyelinap Sukma.'

Aku :

tima kaseh skali lg ats suma pndngan n rujukan~~

=)


Abg Shafiq :

sama2 kasih. =)

*************************************

Aku selalu rindu untuk kembali ke zaman kanak-kanak. Aku nak jadi kanak-kanak riang yang selalu menceriakan hari semua orang. Kan best jadi kanak-kanak...selalu hepy..tak yah fikir pasal banyak benda..tak yah rasa macam apa yang aku rasa sekarang...tak perlu kenal dengan orang-orang yang mengajar aku untuk rasa semua perasaan yang aneh dan pelik2 ni...kalau la aku boleh putar masa tu dengan petikan jari ja....dah lama aku buat. Tapi masalahnya aku kena hidup dengan realiti. Aku kena belajar untuk hidup dengannya. "Diyana...anda tu dah 18 tahun." Peringatan dari hati aku. Semua perasaan tu ajar aku untuk lebih berhati-hati, aku tak nak menyinggung hati mana2 pihak atau buat sesiapa pun tak selesa. Kan best kalo aku dapat membahagiakan semua orang....

This entry was posted on 4/14/2008 07:26:00 AM and is filed under , , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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